I just can’t get enough of my son. He is my world & it just brightens up my day when I see him smile. I really can’t tell you how much I love being a mommy to this little one.
healing: a dragging process when your heart is still rooted in things you’re trying to get over. make peace, chin up, walk again. try..
Usually when I hear a celebrity has passed, I’m no way near affected by it. To be honest I wasn’t even sad when Michael Jackson died. I listened to his music, but he didn’t inspire me in any sort of way. No offense. However, hearing the news of Robin William’s death left me heartbroken. I actually grew up watching his movies. His movies never failed to make me laugh or feel inspired to be a better person. He had tremendous talent and a vibrant personality that it felt like you knew him even though you never met him. It’s so sad to hear him go like this, and I pray that he finally found peace. Rest in paradise Robin Williams. The world is a little gray without you.
Waking up with anxiety is the worst. It seriously feels like you’re drowning inside and you don’t know how to escape it. I’m trying to breathe, but that’s not helping at all.
Ever since Fenix was born, I felt like I lost a lot of friends. It’s funny how when they found out I was pregnant they were so excited to be be a part of his life, but once he was born they all disappeared. Some came by to visit, but most ignored the fact he exists. They even “forgot” about his birthday party.
I don’t feel left out when they don’t invite me to clubs or parties because I honestly don’t find that to be fun anymore; and I would rather spend $30 on toys, diapers, and food than on bottle service. I do appreciate those friends who invite me out of courtesy, even though they know I won’t be able to make it. I just need to close this chapter in my life and realize they are no longer my friends but acquaintances. Honestly, I am a little sad that we’ve drifted apart. Sometimes I do need girl time when Franco is driving me nuts and Fenix has been a handful all day.
Although I’ve lost friends, I realized I gained more blessings. I have a son and a boyfriend who show me unconditional love, I’ve gotten a lot closer to my family, I finished school with a 4.0, and I have a job at the Veteran’s Affairs hospital.
I guess this is a part of growing up. You gain some, you lose some.